Moody Blues

Well I finally saw the work Occupational Health Psychologist on Friday and what she had to say was pretty interesting.

We firstly talked about my anxiety and how I avoid socialising and try to avoid crowded places (thank god for side of stage 30STM tix eh?). She showed me the theory of the anxiety curve and that through avoiding scary situations I was cutting it off sooner and sooner which is making my tolerance to anxiety weaker. So apparently I have to start doing things that scare me like going out to the pub etc (n.b I will NOT be holding a snake!).

We then moved on to talking about my depression and I was saying that not all days are bad days, there are days when I can be on top of the world and my head will be buzzing with ideas - these are the days when I'm at my creative best and can make loads of jewellery or get lots of sewing done.

I was saying that my mood can literally snap from second to second, literally from sky high to rock bottom. Whereas most people's moods gradually go up and down mine will peak and trough like crazy (no pun intended). The psychologist thinks that I may need a mood suppressant as an anti-depressant will work soley on lifting my mood and make, what I like to call my 'noisy head' days, worse which in turn will lead me to even more crashing lows.

What annoys me is that I saw a Psychiatrist in April 12 and told him exactly the same as I told the Psychologist on Friday. All I got from him was a rushed 15 minute appointment where he told me that my depression "wasn't that bad", I was fat and "didn't fit into society". Is it any wonder people are scared to seek help for mental health problems when they get that reaction from people who are supposed to help them?

I'll let you know how it goes once I've spoken to my GP about the mood supressants.

Love Jen

XxxX
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